


Whole, Together

by CharismaticChaos



Category: Kingdom Hearts (Video Games)
Genre: Angst, Aqua giving good advice, Canon Compliant, Character Development, Count how many headcannons you spot, Emotional Trauma, Family, Friendship, Hurt/Comfort, Kissing, M/M, One-Shot, Post-Canon Fix-It, Vanitas Redemption (Kingdom Hearts), give him a happy ending i stg, i dare you, mentions of Sora, wholesome moments
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-08
Updated: 2020-10-08
Packaged: 2021-03-07 16:15:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,287
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26900500
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CharismaticChaos/pseuds/CharismaticChaos
Summary: “I already told you, my home is—”“Beside me. Your home is beside me,” Ventus interjected.
Relationships: Vanitas/Ventus (Kingdom Hearts)
Comments: 8
Kudos: 64





	Whole, Together

It had been a year since the war against Organization XIII. The Land of Departure’s sky once again was painted blue, with only a few clouds marring the soft colour. Ventus gazed up, situated on the ledge of the railing encompassing his favorite place to watch the frequent meteor showers.

Ven felt conflicted. Since Xehanort was gone and Organization XIII was no longer a concern, he should feel at ease; happy even. Instead, all he felt was an inexplicable emptiness eating at the core of what he could only assume was his heart. He’d come up with many different explanations: trauma, anxiety, hell, maybe he was just depressed for no reason. He wasn’t sure.

One day he’d find the answer, but for today there was work to do. Finding Sora was going to take everyone’s hands on deck. Regardless, looking back on the past, he felt as though he’d been selfish in taking the kindness everyone offered him without giving anything in return. Sora had given him the most of anyone, so it was his turn to give back by bringing the boy home.

“You gonna sit there all day, or are you coming with us?” Terra asked with a snicker as he towered over Ven’s daydreaming form.

Ventus tensed at the startle, only relaxing when he saw that it was his friend and not–

_No, that’s a ridiculous thought,_ he dismissed himself inwardly.

“Yeah, yeah, I’m coming. Guess a guy can’t catch a break,” He joked, elbowing Terra as he stood and moved passed him.

“Wait a minute,” Ven was stopped by a hand on his shoulder. “Are you alright, Ven? You looked,” He paused a moment, looking off to the side. “You looked lost.”

Ventus kept his breathing as even as he could, trying not to raise suspicion. He’d been avoiding sharing any of these thoughts with other people until he could understand what was happening himself. The last thing he needed was Aqua breathing down his neck at every turn; although she had gotten much better at not playing the mother hen every second of the day. Had he been too obvious in that moment? He thought he’d been doing well at keeping it hidden.

“Yeah, yeah I’m fine. Was just thinking about some things,” He decided. This way he wouldn’t have to feel guilty for lying, ‘cause it was the truth. Just didn’t include the details of what.

“Okay.” If there was one thing about Terra that Ven appreciated, it was that he wasn’t the type to pry. In situations like Xehanort, it tended to be problematic, but for now Ventus was thankful. “We need to get going or Aqua will wring both our necks.”

Ven laughed, then took off running. “I’ll race you there!” Ven shouted as he looked over his shoulder at the flustered Terra.

“You’re faster than me _and_ you get a head start?” He heard Terra half whine half grumble distantly behind him.

At least this would give him time to collect himself before facing the ultimate test:

Appearing to be _‘fine’_ in front of Aqua.

Naturally, Ventus won the race by a landslide, Terra roughly 5 meters behind him when Ven reached the entryway of the castle. Aqua was waiting for them, tapping her foot impatiently.

“You two took your sweet time,” She chuckled. She didn’t sound outwardly annoyed, but both Ventus and Terra knew her well enough to know that she was most certainly displeased with their untimely manner.

“Sorry,” Ven scratched the back of his head, breathing a little heavier, but not nearly as heavy as Terra was when he caught up, winded and hunched over to catch his breath.

“I swear, you cheated,” He said in short bursts. Both Ven and Aqua laughed, the man narrowing his eyes at Ventus.

“I just gave myself a better chance at winning against Master Terra,” He stuck his tongue out playfully, looking over at Aqua to see if she was buying the act.

Unfortunately, she was staring straight at him. She narrowed her eyes ever so slightly, but thankfully didn’t asked further questions. Instead, she closed her eyes and sighed.

“We really need to go if we’re planning on doing this mission today,” she said before summoning her keyblade and holding it out in front of her, letting the gateway to the Realm of Darkness manifest. “Let’s go.” Aqua disappeared into the gateway, quickly followed by Terra, then Ventus.

The mission in the Dark World remained consistent almost every time. Get in, hunt heartless, look for signs of Sora, defend against sudden ambushes, head home. Nothing really ever changed here, and neither did the missions. Typical of a place where time did not exist.

As always, the Realm of Darkness was, well...dark. _Very dark._ It was hard to see, especially that day. For some reason though, Ventus couldn’t help but feel more whole here than when he did back in the Land of Departure. That was where he rested his head. It was where his closest friends were. It was his _home._ So why did he feel so empty there?

He himself, in theory, was pure light if Xehanort was correct. Could it be that the pull to this place fulfilled the darkness Ventus was void of? Another explanation, but still no definite answers. He couldn’t help but feel as if there was some other reason. Something right under his nose. Something close by.

He looked around himself, and suddenly neither Terra nor Aqua were in sight. He felt his hands and the tip of his nose go freezing cold, the color drained from his face. When had he separated from them?! He had no idea. He’d sworn that they were with him just a second ago. It was incredibly dark today, but how had Ventus managed to stray away from the fira spell Aqua had been casting to brighten the surroundings?

“Terra! Aqua!” He called out, trying to locate them. He was quickly panicking, being alone in the Dark World by himself. But there was no sense in freaking out – he’d been on his own before. He wasn’t some kid that needed coddling. “Calm down,” He breathed quietly through a deep sigh.

Neither of his companions had responded to his call. He pulled out his Gummi phone, but before he dialed either of them, he questioned if he really wanted to be near them right now. Maybe this was a blessing in disguise. He felt more whole than usual here, maybe he could finally find out why. Aqua and Terra could handle looking for Sora in the meantime. He wouldn’t take another 12 years to figure out what’s happening with him after all.

And so, began his search for himself (for lack of better term at the time). He picked the direction that felt most right, and followed his nose from there. He walked for what felt like ages, reaching his hand out every now and then, almost feeling like he could grasp something tangible enough to have his answer, but when his fingers would close around nothing but air, he’d realize once again that whatever he was looking for, he hadn’t reached it yet.

In the midst of his thoughts, he’d tripped over something and fell flat on his face. Looking around instinctively to make sure nobody saw it, he realized no one would have been there _to_ see it.

Or so he thought.

Red eyes gave a faint glow as Ventus gazed upon a flood. His breath stopped. Confusion wracked his brain and he furrowed his eyebrows. “Y-you’re...” He stuttered out, barely able to cohesively annunciate the word. The flood stared at Ventus for a moment, its head twitching sporadically before tilting its head in a very cat-like manner. Ventus tentatively reached his hand out to touch it, only to be scratched and the flood to take off in the clear opposite direction.

Ventus didn’t think. His feet were moving for him, only one thought on his mind. _But he’s supposed to be dead, I watched him disappear,_ Ventus rambled internally. Everything suddenly made sense to him. He didn’t feel whole _because he wasn’t whole._ His other half was in the Realm of Darkness. Unless a singular flood managed to survive _for a year_ in this _god forsaken realm_ , Vanitas was here.

Ventus had to find him. He had to find him, _he had to_ —

A shriek rang out from around the corner, and Ven couldn’t help the big grin on his face when he rounded it, believing Vanitas might be there, only to be met with darkness rising into the air, Aqua’s keyblade drawn and a shaken look on both hers and Terra’s faces.

“Ventus! We looked everywhere for you!” Aqua said worriedly.

Terra looked immediately concerned. “Ven?”

Ventus fell to his knees. There was a lump in his throat so thick he could never hope to swallow it. His hands planted into the ground as an uncontrollable sob wracked through him, a heartbreaking scream escaping his lips.

Aqua covered her mouth, tearing up at the anguished sobs of her friend before running to his side. Terra stood shocked, having difficulty taking in the situation, wondering what happened to cause this.

“Ven,” She let out shakily, resting her hand on his shoulder before looking up to Terra, still trying not to sob alongside Ven. “We need to get him home,” She started.

“ _NO!_ ” Ventus roared through his tears, grabbing Aqua’s shoulders, his hands shaking. “I have to find him! I won’t leave until I find him!”

Aqua’s eyes roamed over Ven’s hysterical form. She didn’t want to say no to him, even if the entire ordeal struck her as insanity.

“Ventus, you’re in no shape to go looking for Vanitas,” Terra said decidedly. “Let’s go home for now.”

Ven looked at Terra. His eyes were red and swollen, face wet with tears that were still coming, nose stuffed and running. Ventus knew he was right. He knew that he couldn’t go looking for his other half like this, and frankly, he didn’t want Vanitas to see him like this. He’d make fun of him for looking so weak and pathetic. He didn’t understand why he was so overcome by this. He’d spent so much time agonizing over something he couldn’t understand; something that seemed so out of reach.

It turned out to be the thing that made the most sense.

He sniffed once. Twice. “Alright,” He said softly.

Terra came over to him, picking him up. He figured by the way Ven was trembling he wouldn’t be able to walk for the time being. Aqua stood, summoning her keyblade and opening a gateway back to the Land of Departure.

They’d spent the next few days giving Ven room to breathe, but still keeping a close watch on him. Ventus hadn’t slept since they returned. The sleep deprivation was crippling, but in the middle of the third night, he knew he could no longer take being here without his other half. He went to the front entry of the castle, summoning his keyblade, and trying to will it to show him the path to the Dark World. He was never taught how to do it for himself, and was trial and erroring as he went. He tried for ten minutes before he was interrupted.

“Trying to sneak off again, hmm?” Aqua’s voice said behind him. Ventus closed his eyes, feeling defeated already.

“Are you gonna try and stop me?” He asked bitterly.

“No,” She said, much to his surprise. “In fact, I’ll help you find him.” At this, Ventus spun around, shock and caution written on his features.

“What?” He questioned.

“I said I’ll help you. But first, we need to talk,” She said before sitting at one of the thrones. She reached her arm over both chair’s arms and patted the seat closest to her. Hesitantly, Ventus complied.

When he sat down, there was silence between them for about a minute until Aqua broke the quiet tension between them.

“Why didn’t you talk to us?” She asked.

Ventus had to think about his response. His reasoning. Why exactly did he avoid talking to them? “I was afraid. I was afraid of how I was feeling. It didn’t make sense to me before, so I didn’t want to bring attention to something that wasn’t a big deal. Sora should come first.”

“No, Ventus. You have to come first.” She looked over at him, swinging her legs up to drape over the arm of the throne. “You can’t help someone else if you aren’t feeling well. You’re just as important as Sora is. And so are your feelings.”

“But I don’t want to take anymore! I want to give! I’m tired of feeling useless and helpless and—and,” Ventus bit his lower lip, trying to hold back another sob. “I feel empty, and now I know why, Aqua. I need Vanitas.”

“Then we’ll go find him,” Terra said standing against the arch. “We know Vanitas is in the Realm of Darkness now, but we don’t know where Sora is yet. Let’s shoot for the moon right now and focus on catching the stars later.”

A few tears rolled down Ven’s cheek. “Ventus… I know I have a hard time letting you do things your way. Letting you do things I think might not be the best. I’m trying to get better. Terra is trying too. But if you don’t give us a chance to listen and understand, we never will.” Aqua smiled sincerely, her tone and expression kind and filled with love.

Ventus nodded slowly. “Okay. I’ll try too,” he said softly. For the first time in a long time, there was no tension between the three of them; like the weight of several worlds was lifted off their shoulders and they could finally breathe and see clearly. Ventus felt loved. Supported. But there was someone waiting for him who never had any of that, and he was determined to give.

Once they stepped through the gateway to the Realm of Darkness, there was a much higher prevalence of unversed running amok. For Aqua and Terra, it would be impossible to find the source of the creatures, but Ventus would have no problems. Vanitas was his other half, and he would find him.

At first, the creatures paid them no mind. Ventus figured there were so many more because Vanitas had finally given up on trying to hide. _Is he hiding from me?_ He wondered, the thought tugging at his heart and gripping it in its icy hand.

“Do you hate him?” Ventus asked suddenly.

Aqua and Terra turned around, mild confusion lingering in the air. “I don’t trust him, but I don’t hate him,” Aqua stated.

“If you need him by your side, I’m willing to set aside differences,” Terra explained. “I don’t hate him either.”

Ventus let out a sigh of relief for a breath he didn’t know he was holding. “That’s good,” He said with a sheepish smile. “It would be a little awkward if you did.”

Terra laughed loudly. “Ven, we wouldn’t be here if we weren’t okay with him coming home.”

Aqua chuckled. “He’s right,” She affirmed.

All the unversed that had been ignoring them up until this point became hostile, and began to attack the group. Every step of the way became a new fight. Ventus knew then that they were getting close to him. Close to Vanitas. His missing half. The one he so desperately needed to be with.

Quickly, the unversed became too overwhelming, and Ven’s friends urged him on while they stayed back to fight away the attackers. Ventus felt bad leaving them, but for now, Vanitas was the most important thing in the world. Aqua and Terra gave him a better chance to find him.

He didn’t bother fighting the unversed. There were too many, so there was no point. He’d continue to trace the connection burning inside of him. His mind rambled on and on. What was he gonna say? What was he going to do? How was he supposed to explain to Vanitas this sudden need for Ventus to be by his side and never leave? To be whole. But being one person didn’t strike him as ideal either, and he couldn’t imagine Vanitas not wanting to fight and merge as soon as they locked eyes. X-Blade aside.

Ventus just wanted to be with him. Forever. He didn’t think of Vanitas like his brother even for a second, and inwardly he question what Vanitas was to him if it wasn’t that. A friend? That didn’t sit right with him. He didn’t like that idea. Maybe he wanted…

Cutting his thoughts short, he located the source. In front of him were several different unversed attacking something. _Or someone,_ he thought.

Ventus summoned his keyblade, making quick work of the unversed, hearing Vanitas under the hoard of unversed groan in pain with every strike to the creatures. He didn’t want to hurt them, but there wasn’t much of a choice at the moment.

With no enemies between them, and no one around to bother them, Ventus finally looked at Vanitas.

He looked ragged, and was fiercely glaring at Ventus. Injured from head to toe, he looked rough, to say the least. The thing that stood out most to Ven were his eyes. No longer that striking gold, but instead a deep red. _Is this how they were supposed to be?_ Ventus questioned. Apparently, he’d been staring at Vanitas for too long because he was first to speak.

“What are you doing here?” He asked irritably, his voice like gravel from the hoarseness.

Ventus didn’t say anything, kneeling in front of Vanitas and placing his hand in the center of his chest. “Curaga,” He whispered, a green glow enveloping Vanitas.

Vanitas promptly shoved Ven away. “What the hell are you doing?!” He shouted in Ven’s direction. “Why would you heal me?! Do you suddenly have a death wish?!”

Ventus glared back at him. “Because I need you!”

Vanitas looked immediately puzzled, the smallest tinge of amusement on his face. “You what?”

“I feel empty,” Ventus whispered. “I feel broken and hollow and lonely,” He spoke like rapid fire. “I need you. You’re the reason I feel empty.”

“Figures. My existence makes you empty. Did you just heal me so you could get rid of me once and for all then?” He wore a smirk, but his eyes were just as hollow and empty as Ven felt.

Ventus looked at Vanitas with a smile. He’d finally found him. His other half. The boy he’d quarreled with on countless occasions, and taken for granted. It felt surreal to him, but the full feeling inside of his was undeniable. Vanitas was one hundred percent what he’d been missing, and just standing in relatively close proximity was more than enough to confirm that.

And yet Vanitas didn’t understand how important this was to him.

“I meant I feel empty without you, and I’m going to bring you home for real this time,” Ven finally responded after wrenching himself away from his thoughts. He held his hand out to Vanitas invitingly, only for the hand to be swatted away as though he were nothing more than a fly, or mosquito.

“I already told you, my home is—”

“Beside me. Your home is beside me,” Ventus interjected.

An expression akin to exasperation lit on his other half’s face. “You really are stupid,” He said in awe, presumptively at Ven’s insistence that they didn’t need to be one person. Vanitas’ hand traveled to his forehead, pinching the bridge of his nose in frustration as he continued to speak. “My home is not beside you; you are my home. Not being myself anymore would mean I’m home. Back where I belong. _Whole._ ”

Ven stopped breathing for a moment, his own frustration building inside of him. His head felt as though it might explode if he didn’t keep himself under control, but he was far beyond that by now. The only thing he wanted was to make this thick-skulled, stuck up asshole understand how he felt. Why couldn’t he understand? They could be whole without being one. “I don’t _want_ you to disappear!”

“Oh!” Vanitas said, his hand waving outward and his eyes wide like he had a breakthrough. “I get it now! I’ll go to your home and stay by your side, linked at the fucking hip for the rest of our sorry, pathetic excuse for a life! Yes. That’s _definitely_ realistic, Ventus.” He’d finally stood up on his own, and stood a couple inches taller than Ventus, staring down with cold, unwelcoming crimson eyes. He shoved Ven’s chest, pushing him backwards, and advanced forward. “Oh, can’t forget about singing kumbaya with your friends,” He went to shove again, but this time Ventus grabbed his wrist.

“They’ll be fine, Vanitas. They helped me get here, they want you to come home too.” He looked at Vanitas pleadingly, his grip around his other’s wrist tight, but not painfully so. The places where their skin made contact felt like fire to Ventus, but not the kind that was wild or destructive. This felt warm, calming, _right._ He never guessed he’d find this in someone who was glaring at him with pure, unadulterated hatred and—

_Pain?_

“Let go of me, _Ventus,_ ” His voice was a warning tone, commanding. Ventus searched his face, genuinely confused by his reaction to the touch.

“Vanitas—”

“Let. Me. Go.” His voice was trembling. Suddenly the hatred Ven thought he’d seen morphed into fear. Reluctantly, Ventus released his grip, stepping back to give Vanitas space. He was vaguely reminded of a feral cat trapped in a cage.

“Are you okay?” Was all Ventus could think to ask as Vanitas turned away from him.

“Do I look okay to you?!” He roared and spun around. “All I’ve ever wanted was to be whole! All I ever wanted was to experience the joy and love that you’ve been surrounded with all this time! I hate all your stupid friends who give you attention and care, but I hate you the most!”

Ventus stood still, taking in every complaint, shocked by the tears rolling down Vanitas’ face. He’d never seen him so riled up. He wondered if this is what he’d looked like to Aqua and Terra the few days ago when the flood was killed. Vanitas was straight up having a panic attack over a simple touch. How would Vanitas react to a gentler approach? Would he just shove Ventus away like before, or would he panic more? Had he ever even been hugged? Could that help? Vanitas was still screaming at him, but Ven was too absorbed thinking about what he could possibly do or say to calm his raging other half. Finally, he closed his eyes and spoke.

“Aren’t you tired?”

Abruptly, Vanitas stopped yelling, face akin to a deer caught in the headlights. “What?” He asked flatly, his voice wavering as the word trailed off.

“Don’t you ever get tired of hating the world?” Ventus knew the answer to the question. Of course he was tired. Ventus was drained just listening to Vanitas and feeling the anger radiating from him. Feeling those emotions must have been ten times more exhausting.

Vanitas’s chest expanded as he inhaled, still staring at Ventus in disbelief. When he let out his breath, all the fight inside of him left with it, his form sinking to the ground. “This has to be some cruel joke,” He choked out. “I’ve spent my existence hating you, longing to be you. And suddenly you waltz in after so long, looking for me, and I don’t have the energy to hate.” He looked up, a skeptical expression. “This is just because you don’t really want me or my emotions, isn’t it? You’re just trying to keep me at arm’s length. Keep tabs on me.”

Ventus knelt to his level, tenderly pulling Vanitas towards him, which he surprisingly didn’t fight. His head hit Ven’s chest, his body stiff. “I want you by my side, forever. Not to control you like Xehanort. Not because I hate you or because I don’t want to deal with your emotions.”

“Why?” He whispered brokenly.

Ventus frowned, heart heavy at the sound of his voice. “You deserve another chance. A chance to experience happiness. Being able to choose for yourself. And,” Ventus pulled back so he could look into Vanitas’ eyes. They were so much warmer than just a few minutes ago, despite the tears threatening to spill out. “I’d like that to be with me,” he finished.

With that, Ventus leaned forward and pressed his lips against his other half’s. The sensation was like no other he had ever felt. He could drown in this happily given half a chance. Everything felt right for once in the world, as Ventus felt his anxieties fade, and the feeling of being _whole_ coursing through him. Without fighting. Without merging. A gentle gesture was all it took to fill the void that had gnawed at Ventus from the inside out for a year. He hardly noticed when tears escaped his own eyes, but was so very aware at the feeling of arms timidly wrapping around him, and the kiss being reciprocated. He could feel his other half’s body relax against him. Vanitas’ lips moved against his gently, slotting together in a way that was nothing short of perfection.

Ventus pulled away only when he absolutely had to, resting his head against Vanitas’ with a satisfied smile on his face.

“Are you sure you won’t regret it?” He asked in a whisper.

Ventus gave Vanitas a much quicker kiss.

“Never.”

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this in like 5 hours, I swear I've never felt more inspired. I'm strongly considering doing one shots as sequels to this piece (But we'll see).


End file.
